PRINCIPLE I
Pleasure in groups.
We believe people should find intense pleasure in working with groups. Study sessions should be pleasure sessions.
MISSION STATEMENT
A serious place for unserious productivity.
We look academic so your calendar approves. We feel suggestive so your attention doesn’t.
PRINCIPLE II
Chemistry is extracurricular.
Group Scholar believes chemistry should exist outside the syllabus. The syllabus is a suggestion, not a boundary.
PRINCIPLE III
Come smart. Leave distracted.
Arrive prepared. Depart pleasantly compromised. Your focus may wander; your standards shouldn’t.
PRINCIPLE IV
Peer review gets personal.
We practice active listening, active note-taking, and occasionally… active eye contact.
PRINCIPLE V
Office hours, open.
Office hours are open. Boundaries are clearer. Consent is always implied by enthusiasm and explicit in practice.
PRINCIPLE VI
Attendance required. Focus optional.
Collaboration is sacred. So is plausible deniability. We’ll handle the minutes; you handle the moment.
COURSE CATALOG
Programs designed to distract responsibly.
A curriculum that reads like an institution—until you realize the institution is flirting with your focus.
GS-101
Introduction to Group Dynamics
3 units
Foundational skills in taking turns, sharing materials, and pretending you’re not enjoying it.
Prereqs: curiosityLab: optionalOutcomes: negotiable
GS-214
Advanced Peer Review (Close Reading)
4 units
Rigorous critique delivered softly. Feedback loops encouraged. Red ink optional.
Prereqs: curiosityLab: optionalOutcomes: negotiable
GS-303
Chemistry Lab (After Class)
2 units
Hands-on collaboration beyond prescribed outcomes. Safety goggles suggested; good judgment required.
Prereqs: curiosityLab: optionalOutcomes: negotiable
GS-401
Capstone: Distraction Engineering
5 units
Design environments where productivity is theoretically possible and practically negotiable.
Prereqs: curiosityLab: optionalOutcomes: negotiable
CITATIONS
Documented outcomes. Questionable journals.
Testimonials formatted like academic references, because credibility is a vibe.
“I came for the accountability. I stayed because the syllabus kept blushing.”
A. Participant
Department of Applied Distraction
doi:10.0000/gs.jqf.2025.011
“My notes improved. My boundaries improved more. The eye contact was… peer-reviewed.”
K. Reviewer
Journal of Questionable Focus (JQF)
doi:10.0000/gs.jqf.2025.019
“Come smart. Leave distracted is not a tagline. It’s a measurable outcome.”
R. Chair
Office of Institutional Mischief
doi:10.0000/gs.oim.2025.004
CODE OF CONDUCT
Suggestive copy. Serious boundaries.
We keep it playful, not messy. Enthusiasm is great; respect is required.
Is this an actual academic service?+
No. It’s a joke site that cosplays as academia. The vibes are scholarly. The outcomes are… distractingly human.
What’s the Honor Code?+
Show up prepared. Be kind. Don’t pressure anyone. If someone isn’t into the bit, drop it immediately.
What does “chemistry outside the syllabus” mean?+
It means you can flirt with the metaphor, not violate the moment. Keep it consensual and non-explicit.
Do you store my data?+
Not on this page. This is a landing page; the “apply” box is a placeholder unless you want backend wiring later.
FINAL CALL
Reserve a study slot. Or a distraction slot.
We’ll never promise productivity. We will promise a room full of smart people pretending to focus together.
By applying, you agree to the Honor Code: respect first, jokes second.